Inboxs

[notthatkindoforion]

Welcome to Tendi's inbox! If I don't answer immediately, it's probably because I've got my hands full with something toxic, corrosive, or chemically unstable! Or bleeding. Or all of the above! I'll get back to you as soon as I can, byyyye!

Comments

[chaos_drifter]

It can be. I had to have all of my means taken away before I stopped killing. [They had no idea who they were without their murders, so stopping was difficult.] Once I did, though, changing the way I thought about people was easier. [Zakalwe needs to find an identity outside of killing, the same way they did, and he needs to learn to connect with people.]

[notthatkindoforion]

Oh... right. I guess I should be better at remembering that my experience isn't always universal.

And maybe Cheradenine isn't stuck in how he feels about other people. But... he might be stuck in how he feels about himself? If he's been running for two hundred years.

[chaos_drifter]

I guess it depends on the person. [Neither their experiences nor Tendi’s are the best comparison for a human.] Some people are stuck in the killing itself, and others are stuck in how they think about the people they kill.

Being stuck in how he feels about himself would make sense. He has ideas about what else to be, but not how to change. He has no idea how to keep living after what happened. [They were stuck in how they thought about themself, too.]

[notthatkindoforion]

The Barge might be the first time in a long time he's stopped running enough to actually have to figure that out. That's got to be pretty daunting.

But at least he doesn't have to do it alone.

[chaos_drifter]

[He has them and Tendi and Hanna to support him, the same way they had Rawne.] It might be the first time he had someone to support him, too. [Just like them.]

Would you have been an inmate if you came here at a different point in your life?

[notthatkindoforion]

Oh, absolutely. No question.

[It's something she's acutely aware of.]

I was lucky. Starfleet gave me the chance to turn my life around. I'm not better than any inmate here, or less capable of harm. Just... more fortunate.

[chaos_drifter]

I like that way of looking at it. [Their own choices had brought them here as an inmate, but it would have been easier for them to make different choices if their circumstances had been different. They had driven their victims to self-blame because it worked, not because they really believed all of them were entirely at fault for their problems.]

[notthatkindoforion]

It's served me well so far. I've never been an inmate here, and I hope I never will be - [Because if she gets demoted, something's gone terribly wrong] - but that doesn't mean I can't relate.

[chaos_drifter]

You seem to be good at finding ways to relate to people, even if your experiences are different. [They have more trouble with it, but they can usually do it eventually.]

[notthatkindoforion]

I guess? I just... really like people. [She hasn't really considered it a skill when it just comes naturally.]

[chaos_drifter]

That comes naturally to some people, but not everyone. [They tried to use their file to relate to Zakalwe, but they think they should have waited longer.] I like learning about people, though.

[notthatkindoforion]

Yeah, I guess your right. Everyone's got to figure out a way to relate to and understand others that works for them.

[And she supposes some people are always going to have a much, much smaller group of people they care to put time and emotional energy into than she has.]